Finding a Life Mate: The Character Traits Worth Looking For #2

16 03 2011

This is a second entry in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate.  While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.

2. Does this person love and accept you as you are?  Do you get the feeling at times that he/she is attempting to change you?  Does he/she accept those physical and personality traits with which you were born, or do you feel an underlying need to change yourself to try to please him/her?  While love is not blind, it accepts what cannot be changed and gives grace for what can be changed.   Romans 15: 7 says, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”  Christ has accepted you as you are.  You need not try to change yourself to be accepted, let Him do the changing for He has already accepted you.  You cannot earn His acceptance or His approval because you already have it… before you do anything.

When Jesus was being water baptized by John,  the Father spoke from heaven and said, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”  God spoke this to Jesus before His public ministry began.  What words of affirmation; what words of acceptance.  God says those same words to you.  You cannot earn His approval and you need not earn the approval of another.  The God of the universe, the King of Kings has already accepted you.  If you get the feeling that the one you are dating is trying to change you into someone else, take an immediate step back and ask God what He wants.  You are His son/daughter and with you He is well pleased.





Finding a Life Mate: The Character Traits Worth Looking For #1

11 03 2011

While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.

  1. Does this person love God with all of his/her heart, mind and soul?  To put anyone or anything before God is idolatry.  Does this person act in such a manner that you know his/her first priority is to love and serve God over you, someone or something else?  Does this special person love God more than his/her own personal comfort?  Is Jesus his/her first love?  Does this person acknowledge a relationship with the Holy Spirit and how God’s Holy Spirit is working in them?  Is this person seeking God’s heart and will on a daily basis?  Are they doing their best to walk in the daily disciplines of the Christian faith? If not, they are seeking to please someone or something else.  Even if that “someone” or “something” else is you, it is out of line with Jesus’ words when He was asked what were the most important commands from His Father.  (See Matthew 22:36-38)  I find the more I love God and place Him first as Lord of my life, the more I love my wife and desire to care for her.  You see, it is an act of worship to my King to love my wife like He loves His church and cares for her.  (See Ephesians 5:25-28)  If I were to take these words in Ephesians literally, I am asked to give up my life for my wife, to make her holy, cleansing her, to present her to Him as a part of His radiant church.  I am asked to love her as I love and care for myself (what a radical difference that one move would make in marriages today).  But you see, I can’t do these things by my own strength or abilities.  By loving God first, He will give me such a steadfast love, appreciation, spirit of thankfulness and so much more for her.  It’s funny, if I put my job or myself first, all else suffers behind it.  If I put God first in my life, He works diligently and faithfully within me to see that all else is blessed.  But seek first His kingdom and righteousness, and all these things (a life mate) will be given to you as well.  Matthew 6:33







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