Finding a Life Mate: The Character Traits Worth Looking For #16

11 07 2011

This is the sixteenth in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate.  While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.

16. How do you observe his/her personal relationships?  What is the nature of this person’s relationships with parents, siblings, friends, bosses at work or teachers at school, neighbors, co-workers and former significant others?  Does this person walk in freedom from past hurts or wounds from peers or authority figures?  Does he/she tend to blame others for relational issues, or does he/she take ownership of personal shortcomings?  Does this person acknowledge and apologize when he/she is wrong?  (Matthew 6: 14; Colossians 3: 12-13; I Timothy 2: 1-2)

Somewhere I read about this fellow who took on a new job and was asked by his new boss about the atmosphere of his former employment.  The man replied, “It was terrible, the people were difficult and the bosses were impossible. ”  Then he added, “I sure hope it’s different here.”  His new manager quickly retorted, “It won’t be.”  He was coming with the wrong attitude and he’ll most likely leave with the wrong attitude.  Maturity means that we take responsibility.  Life hurts and stings are simply not everyone else’s fault.  If someone you love rarely takes responsibility for their shortcomings, believe me, eventually you’ll be their target.  I once knew a man like this who could not keep a job.  Oh, he was a hard worker and all, but he could not take orders from anyone.  This type of person ends up being able to only work for themselves, being their own boss.

Relationships are the most important thing in life.  While we do not choose our parents, our siblings and some others, it is our choice in how hard we work at humbling ourselves in order to get along with them.  Someone wisely said, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be in relationship?”  There are times in life when both are not an option.  Walk humbly before your God and one another.  Show lots of grace, because it’s grace you’ll need for yourself one day.  Meditate on the above noted scripture, stop blaming others, look in the mirror and resolve to take the necessary steps of change toward humility.

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