Married and Friends: The Trust Factor II

13 02 2012

The month of February has a wonderful tradition in the middle of it, Valentine’s Day. With that in mind, I thought I would set aside this month for marriage topics, or perhaps more than this month – who knows.

We have often heard that trust is built on a very thin thread.  Because relationships are the most important thing in life, trust becomes a key ingredient.  Without trust, a relationship can only go so far.  The relationship will have a very clear line of demarcation that says, “This is as far as we go until there is a deeper level of trust.”  Whether it is a work relationship, a marriage relationship or a local church relationship, building trust takes time.  When trust is broken, especially by those who we love, the hurt is deeper and taken more personally.  The fact remains, the less I have invested in a relationship, the less the hurt.

“But I thought I could trust you…” are words none of us ever desire to hear.  It means someone feels that we have failed them.  The trust factor, when connected to love in a relationship that we have spent hours or perhaps years investing in, is a huge ingredient in the future of the relationship.  In other words, sow seeds of trusting and being trustworthy today and you’ll reap the harvest of a deeper relationship tomorrow.  Said another way, if mistrust is felt or expressed today, perhaps we need to take a closer look at yesterday.

For example, if every time you go shopping you spend more money than what you and your spouse agreed upon, trust erodes with each incident.  As we recognize our weaknesses through the mistakes we make and take responsibility for them with accountability, the trust level can be rebuilt.  Like a broken bone in our body, it takes a significant time to heal.  But once it does, medical science tells us that the bone will not break there again as it welds itself back into place.

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