I Want A Divorce…From My Children?

21 05 2012

My children were beautiful, big and perfect when they were born, but they soon began crying for every little thing.  They were amazing to watch while they were sleeping, so peaceful, but often awoke in the middle of the night demanding to be fed or needing a diaper change or just some loving attention.  As a young parent, I didn’t know how to prepare for their second and third year of life when I thought their job description was to cause parental mental disorder.  Starting school was happy and sad as I watched them carry their first backpacks.  A whole new world of problems surfaced with selfish desires, comparisons, insecurities and inadequacies.  The questions were endless and the needs for more clothes, soccer equipment, extra money for this and that were insatiable.  Middle school and music, friends and styles and first loves were more than one could possibly plan or prepare for.  If all that wasn’t enough, high school came with the battle of the wills, the “why not, everyone else is!” statements,  raised voices, driving lessons, more raised voices, attitudes, incompatibility,  that awful “whatever” word, first jobs, more clothes, more money and more demands.

And, you know what?  Never once did I want to divorce or even separate from my children.  They were my children and I loved them no matter what.  Most days I was extremely proud and some days emotionally spent and discouraged.  There was no plan B, we would make it as a family and I (we)  would raise our children to the best of my (our) ability.  I would do my best to be patient, respond correctly, teach, pray for and with, correct, protect and direct.  Divorce?  Not an option.  I would see them through college and walk them down the aisle.  I would believe in their financial skills even after a terrible mistake.  I would give my life for them.  There was no parenting manual; some issues never resolved; there was always some growing up to do.  There was no calling it quits, never would I lose hope and stop believing for the best.  They were mine and I was responsible, until death do us part.



5 responses

22 05 2012
Omondis In Kenya

Steve, this is an amazing piece of writing. So many truths so eloquently stated. I can feel the joys and frustrations all over again. Thank you!


22 05 2012

It’s true. So much calling it quits in life with marriage, jobs, and education, but never with our children even though we face many of the same issues. Thank you for your encouragement!


24 05 2012

…..until death do us part. That sums it all up. Parenting – we’re in it for life! Thanks Steve for sharing this terrific word.


24 05 2012
lee dematos

Great Job Steve !
Just as an encouragement to others, before I was a Christian, I was divorced. (More than once) The problem with divorcing your wife is you divorce your children at the same time. They didn’t ask for it but they get it anyway. I’ve spent the last 12 years trying to restore those relationships… The Holy Spirit is helping me, and there’s lots more restoring to do to. :)


25 05 2012

Thanks, Lee. God has done so much in your life!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: