God Knows He’s Not Getting a Perfect Leader

18 03 2019

In a vision the Old Testament prophet, Isaiah, has (Isaiah 6:8), God asks who He should send as a prophet to His people.  Isaiah immediately responds in two sentences and five total words, “Here am I.  Send me!” Have you ever said, “Here am I, send me” to God or have you hesitated, knowing He just might take you up on it? When I was a parent of younger children and asked who was available for a job, my kids would tend to make themselves scarce quickly. That reaction to a voice of authority is not uncommon.

 

However, leaders, like Isaiah, do not wait to see if anyone else is going to step up when something needs to be done.  Leaders initiate, take initiative.  They are raising their hands and are not hesitant to stand and speak up.  Leaders make decisions to lead and are willing to take the jump at short notice. Leaders obey God and know when to step aside and leaders obey God and know when to step in.

 

True Holy Spirit led leaders also know they are not capable within themselves to lead, they walk in a Holy sense of inadequacy.  At the same time, leaders who know the voice of the Spirit, walk in a confidence that their adequacy is from the Lord only.

 

I have been a leader for a long time.  I’ve wanted to be a leader and have been committed to growing my leadership skills.  I have never been a perfect leader, but often felt like a mistake- ridden one.  It goes with the territory.  But when you as a leader respond to God with, “Here am I. Send me,” God knows He’s not getting a perfect leader, but rather a leader He is perfecting.

 

Leaders need grace like everyone does, especially when making a mistake.  There is no perfect leader, only leaders our Father is perfecting.

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Crying, It Does a Marriage Good

11 03 2019

My wife cries.  My eyes sweat.  There is a difference!

 

A sad movie, a sad story, repeating a sad story or re-watching a sad movie – my wife cries.

 

My eyes sweat during those times.  I have no idea what comes over me…feelings, I’m guessing.

 

Did you know that God collects our tears? Psalm 56 reveals, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.”

 

Tears are actually a chemical wash to your eyes.  They are designed to help you feel better after a good cry because those chemicals cause a euphoria, so to speak, that helps to release emotion.  In that respect, it’s a healthy response or outlet. Tears have medicinal purpose because God made them that way.

 

So the next time your wife cries and/or your eyes sweat, let it happen; let it out and encourage your spouse to do the same.  Give one another permission to cry and do not attempt to rush in and fix the problem. Maybe all that is needed is a good cry or profuse sweating…whichever the case.





Have You Ever Felt Like a Failure as a Parent?

4 03 2019

There is a truth revealed concerning child rearing in I Samuel chapter eight in the Old Testament. Samuel was growing quite old so he appointed his sons as judges over Israel.  “But his sons did not walk in his ways.  They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.”  (I Samuel 8:3) It was after this that Israel desired a king rather than being ruled by a judge.

 

So often blame is placed upon Samuel for how his sons carried out their new-found power.  Had Samuel failed as a father?  The scripture does not indicate that he did.  Samuel’s sons made their own choice and Samuel was not faulted for those choices.

 

I have seen difficult children come from great families and great children come from difficult families. We like to think there is a guarantee, but at the same time, I have never met a parent with adult children that said there is a guarantee our children will walk as we’ve trained them to.

 

Our children, given the truth of God’s word, still live with freedom of choice and free will.  Can we as parents be good enough parents that somehow God is beholden to, indebted to go against their own will?  As well, the opposite is also true.  We, as parents can mess up and yet our Father is generously compassionate and merciful beyond anything deserved.

 

If your children are not walking as you expected then pray, ask God and do not walk in condemnation and failure.  Rather, walk in faith.





What a Group of Married Couples Recommend for Your Marriage

25 02 2019

Recently my wife and I had the privilege of spending a weekend with some young married couples on a retreat. Amidst our time together, we desired to ask them a question.  That question went something like this: If you were given the chance to share with a younger couple just entering into marriage, what advice would you pass on to them?  What follows is some of the excellent input we were given.

 

  • Pick your battles by asking yourself if it’s worth the possibility of an argument?
  • Pray about the area that is bothering you before jumping into it with your spouse.
  • Lay down your single routines in order to pick up your couple routines.
  • Communicate your expectations in multiple ways.
  • Give one another extra measures of grace, knowing you both need it.
  • Learn one another’s communication style by learning one another’s love languages.
  • Over communicate.
  • Engage in some form of mentorship.
  • Keep dealing with the areas of needed change in your life and take ownership for your issues.
  • Forgive quickly.
  • Get into the habit of praying together.
  • And always, each and every day, put God first.

 

Pretty sound advice from those with a few years of marriage under their belt.





We’re Better Together

18 02 2019

Marriage, being God’s design from the beginning, is an amazingly creative design.  Every time I am on an airplane sitting shoulder to shoulder with a stranger, I wish it were my wife.  It’s just so odd to be that physically close to someone you do not know and have never met.  Marriage is as close and intimate as an earthly relationship can become.  And the fact of the matter is, over time, it becomes even closer.

 

The primary ingredient to the beauty of our wives is a husband’s unconditional love, honor toward her, serving her and cherishing her.  The most beautiful women I know are those who are treated and cared for in this way. The security and significance of our husbands is directly related to a wife’s affirmation and praise of him as a man, a provider and a lover.  His wife, without critical judgment, loves him in this way and he is secure in that love.

 

We’re better together. The book of Ecclesiastes says it this way, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down his friend can help him up.”  How many times has your friend, your spouse, helped you up?  Thank you, Father, for Your amazing design!





The House That God Built

11 02 2019

Whenever we have a first-time visitor to our home, given the chance, we tell them a story.  I’ll tell you that story too.

 

Mary and I were married for twelve years before we owned our own home.  To be perfectly honest, while serving in missions, we didn’t think we’d ever own a home and we really weren’t concerned about it.

 

We had just moved back to our home area after serving in missions for eight years.  We left the work that we were doing out of obedience to God to start a new child welfare agency.  We rented a small apartment from my in-laws and were quite happy there.  In time, we began looking for real estate only to be told by the bank that without any savings and a better paying job, we could not secure a loan.  We really frustrated real estate agents because what we thought God had for us was always different from what they were showing us.

 

Then one morning in my devotional time, God highlighted this verse out of I Chronicles, “I declare to you that the Lord will build a house for you.”  That was it.  That was all we needed.  We began to proclaim and to speak the Lord’s favor; we would have a house and God would be the builder.

 

One day an older friend of my wife came to visit us.  She announced she was selling her farm located just a mile from where our apartment was.  She looked directly at us and said these words, “I want you to go out to the farm and see where you would like to build a house.”  We were shocked…speechless.  Wondering how much this lot would cost us she then said, “It is going to be a tithe of my farm; it’s yours free and clear.”  She left and missed seeing Mary and I dancing around our kitchen, shouting loudly in thanksgiving to our Provider.

 

With the commitment of a very dear friend, he and I built that house from foundation up, nailing every stud, pulling every wire, plumbing and painting.  Now almost 32 years ago, we still tell the story.  We can’t stop telling the story because it’s the house that God built.

 

Even when man (or bank) says it can’t be done…   Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.





Long-Term Marriage Pays (In more ways than one!)

4 02 2019

Did you know those who are blessed to experience long-term marriage tend to accumulate twice as much wealth than those who are single or divorced?  Yep, it’s true.

 

Ohio State University Center for Human Resource Research studied over 9,000 people concerning their marriage and finances.  Over a fifteen-year period they discovered some astounding facts.  For one, those who married and stayed married over that study period increased their wealth 93%. *

 

What about those who married and divorced in that same time period?  Their wealth decreased by 77%.  Why? The answer is partly because there are now two households with double the expenses, double the payments, not to mention the cost of the divorce itself with lawyer fees, etc.  Breaking up a marriage is costly in so many ways.

 

Too many people see only the end, being rid of this person they are no longer getting along with. But the truth is, especially if you have children, you are never rid of this person.   And that cost of breaking up a marriage is far more costly than repairing one.

 

Some wise words from a wife who was cheated on by her husband that we recently heard went something like this:  “He (her husband) spent a lot of money on cheating and it cost us in so many ways. We are now going to spend a lot of money on healing. “

 

Money spent on healing goes much farther than money spent on divorce.

 

* From Love Talk, by Les and Leslie Parrot








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