Pursuing Personal Steps to Change and Healing

19 02 2018

 Wholeness is a lifelong pursuit.  Here are a few steps to help:

  1. If God were mean-spirited, angry and going to “get me,” I’d already be “got.” Instead, He placed all of His anger on His Son, on the cross and not on me.
  2. My heavenly Father planned me from eternity (Ephesians 1: 4) and He so much wanted me born that the family I was born into was/is inconsequential. The truth is, He so much desired a relationship with me, that according to Acts 17: 24-28 this is the time, the season and the place of all eternity that I would be on the earth.
  3. I was presented the gospel and I asked for forgiveness of my sin and received the unconditional love of my Savior, Jesus, and became born again.
  4. I stopped blaming my earthly parent; he/she was not perfect. The revelation from God is, “You were never a perfect son.” To this day, I am not a perfect father/mother or son/daughter. I had to let my earthly parent off the hook from perfection and realize he/she carried with him/her lots of generational pain and hurts themselves.
  5. The more of the love of God I received for myself, the more of the love of God I received for my earthly parents and family. I am a child of the King and a vital part of His kingdom and through me He changes culture, even family culture. I am an adopted son in which I now cry, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15)
  6. I was no longer in need of the approval of my earthly father or mother when I knew I had the approval of my heavenly Father. Romans 15:7 says, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you…”
  7. When my heavenly Father told His Son on the earth He was His beloved Son in whom He was well pleased, He also said that to me. My identity and my esteem were no longer in who I thought I should be, but in who I already was in Christ. I was destined for adoption as a son, according to His will and His purpose. (Ephesians 1: 5-6)
  8. Life is not about me, my stuff, my need for healing or my brokenness. If it were solely about me, I would still be broken and walk in the curses of the generations before me. Christ became a curse for me, so that the curses from my father’s father to my father, to me, and to my children are broken through His death on the cross. “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us…” (Galatians 3:13)
  9. There is no longer a need for retribution or justification. What happened to me became a reason to pursue wholeness, maturity, security and sanctification in my God and His truth. I needed to get back at no one. Jesus took this need for human justification by being the only Just One that could actually justify. (Romans 3: 21-31) I am justified by faith.
  10. Today through health and healing, I set the boundaries. I speak the truth in love with respect and a spirit of honor.

Prayer For Healing

Dear Heavenly Father, out of my personal brokenness I have allowed things into my life known and unknown that do not honor You. I confess to You my need for ongoing healing and restoration. I give freedom to You or Your representative to help me step down into and expose my own sewers. I give permission for You, the One who was broken for me to reveal, to bring to light rebellion, deception, independence, insecurity, comparison, compulsions, guardedness, self-justification, pride, critical judgment of myself and others and any and all ungodly beliefs. I repent for any and all of these and trust You to do the work of healing that only You can do so thoroughly.

 I now come to renounce the beliefs, the thoughts, the emotions and the reactions that the evil one has perpetrated in my life from these beliefs. This is not who I am in You. For by Your grace I am a son/daughter, forgiven, regenerated, redeemed, restored and filled with the Holy Spirit of God no longer to be afflicted or harassed in these areas again. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Where Did You Develop Your Beliefs?

5 02 2018

Where did your beliefs come from? Have you ever thought about that question or do you just assume your beliefs are mostly correct? It’s a simple question that takes a fair amount of reflection.

Your family raised you with certain beliefs. Influential persons, while you were growing up, infected you with certain beliefs about yourself both good and not so good. You faced difficult times and such seasons of life challenges reinforced undeniable beliefs. Pain and sorrow had its effect. Rejection or being bullied also exposed firm beliefs about you.

Life has its way of forced training, mind manipulation and soul-searching encounters that have helped to craft your personal beliefs over your lifetime. Those beliefs can move you forward in a healthy fashion or stunt your growth by limiting the identification of truth.

There is a Biblical process called renewing the mind and the origination of that phrase is taken from a scripture found in Romans 12:2. From the point of your rebirth until your last breath on this earth, your mind is in the process of renewal. Why? Because your heavenly Father longs to bring you truth. And why is that? The truth… it sets us free. (John 8:32)





How Important Is It To Take a Sabbatical?

18 12 2017

Should we wait until our leaders are experiencing physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion in their lives before we develop a sabbatical policy for our local church or ministry? In a New York Times article titled, “Taking a Break from the Lord’s Work” (Aug. 1, 2010), Paul Vitello wrote, “Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen.”

Leaders are failing and quitting at alarming rates. Do they need proper financial support? Yes. Do they need vacations? Yes. Do they need time with their families? Yes. But, is this enough? Could these failures be a direct result of depleted spirits, drained emotions and not enough rest? Could the lack of healthy recharging today have something to do with those untimely failures affecting so many lives?

Leaders burn out and leaders need intervention. Leaders get into unhealthy life patterns in order to serve others and miss out or set aside certain godly disciplines that will help to maintain their personal health. A two to three-month sabbatical can change that when the right plan is attached.

For Biblical insights into a plan, how to take a sabbatical and the four-step process of a healthy sabbatical, see or recommend the book, The Value Of A Sabbatical, Refocusing Your Life for a Healthy Future. You can order it here.





Helping You Help Others

27 11 2017

I’ve dedicated and spent most of my adult life in some form of counseling profession, e.g., foster parent, group home leader, social worker, marriage and family counselor and overseer. My foundational basis of counsel has always been the word of God. The truths found in this book have radically changed my life from the inside out, so why wouldn’t these same truths change the lives of others? And it is on that basis that a number of years ago I put together a book that lists those scriptures and connects them to specific areas of need.

We called it, Counseling Basics, Helping You Help Others. In it we look at the roots of issues in our lives. We consider the counseling process – the process of change. Then we cover specific areas like: depression, stress, co-dependency, anger and emotional wounds. Chapter after chapter lists scriptural responses to more than a dozen areas that affect most of our lives or the lives of those we love and care about.

The truths of the scriptures never grow old, never loses their power and are never outdated. You can trust these truths for yourself and in helping others. I love God’s word and I trust that you do as well. It is more current than tomorrow’s newspaper. After all, The Counselor authored these words of counsel.

You can find and order this book here.





Is Judge Roy Moore Guilty?

20 11 2017

Is Judge Roy Moore guilty? Yes, he is. But then, so are you and I because we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. I do not know about any current accusations against him, but I pray he tells the truth for his sake and for the sake of the women who are accusing him.

I bring this topic up because this blog is less about the currently accused and more about how we are living our daily lives. There are accusations being leveled against so many presently in the US and it seems that almost daily a new story spreads to the nation through the press. It’s difficult to imagine, but in each report the accusations could be decades old.

Time doesn’t change sin or misconduct, it only delays the inevitable — it will surface. So here is the first warning: How we live our life today will affect our integrity tomorrow. Someone once said that it takes years to build a reputation of integrity and only minutes to destroy it. Sin always has a way of surfacing. “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9)

Secondly, know that the ungodly in this world do not like your integrity and will desire to destroy it. Why? Your righteousness reminds them they may not be walking in truth and righteousness. Proverbs 29 says this, “Bloodthirsty men hate a man of integrity and seek to kill the upright.” (V. 10)

One more Proverb worth mentioning, “ The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.“ (Proverbs 11:3)

It seems wrong to be guilty until proven innocent, but innocence is a very rare commodity today.





What Happens When The Church Affirms Sin?

23 10 2017

Sin. That is not an often-used word today. Very few desire to be reminded of their sin or have their sin pointed out to them. Have we become soft on sin to the point of straying from the use of the word? Certainly it’s a biblical word – one found in the Old Testament and the New Testament, including the gospels. (Numbers 32: 23; I Kings 8: 46; Romans 3: 23; John 8: 34)

As a professing Christian, is it right to mention this word to others? Is it right to discuss sin issues in public and in sermons or small groups? Has the current generation so shied away from this word that it has, at the same time, caused or created an affirmation of sin? Is sin still sin or is there a nicer, more politically correct and acceptable word to use? (I John 1: 8; 3: 4, 6-8)

I prayed to give my life to Christ in 1971 and sin was pretty black and white back then. Preachers preached on it and friends were bold enough to point it out, taking me to the word of God and speaking to me forthrightly about the need for repentance. I embraced it, even appreciated it. I did not grow up in a religious home and I was not equipped with very many moral guidelines. (I Cor. 5: 12; Gal. 6: 1; James 5: 19-20)

If the church becomes lax on sin, then moral guidelines become more and more difficult to determine. From Genesis chapter three, the evil one has determined to make right wrong and wrong right.   If we can no longer identify the right, we’ll never know the wrong and vice versa. The overall purpose of the law, the Ten Commandments, was to point out sin, boundaries (exposing our sin). God was determined that for society to function together in a normal, healthy way there needed to be rules – guidelines of wrong and right. Why? Because He hated mankind? No, the exact opposite; He loved mankind and wanted us to live a long and prosperous life free of sin and disease. (Psalm 119: 11, 133; Matthew 5: 17-20; Romans 8: 3-8; Gal. 3: 23-25; Hebrews 12: 1-10)

There is a deviation in the church today. It seems we’re fearful of calling sin, sin…afraid to offend. We’re afraid that we’ll hurt someone’s feelings or tramp on someone’s toes. We fear backlash from the younger generation who might be quite ignorant of the word of God and what sin actually is. And we can fear persecution from the world that actively walks in sin and does not want to be reminded of their wrongdoing. We live in a culture that defends its sin and calls it “personal rights” or “my business” that ‘hurts no one.’ Really? Alcoholism hurts no one? Adultery that breaks up a family hurts no one? Selfishness in pursuing pornography hurts no one? (I Cor. 2: 25, 27-28)

If someone stole all the money in your savings account, money you worked a lifetime to gain, would that be sin? Would you confront that person of their sin? Would you desire them to be arrested for their sin of thievery? Why wouldn’t it be correct to acknowledge sinfulness as hurting many?

If you work alongside someone who works harder at getting out of work rather than actually working, does their slothful attitude hurt anyone other than themselves? Guessing you’re getting the point. Sin does hurt others; it does have a direct effect upon others in our life. Sin, according to God’s word, is wrong and it is what Jesus died for. Our wrongdoing affects our relationship with our heavenly Father and the price that His Son paid. The Holy Spirit is grieved by our sin because it separates us from God. (Romans 6: 23)

If we profess faith in Jesus, then we must deal with the sin in our life and not whitewash it. It doesn’t matter what we feel about it or if we think it hurts no one else. Sin separates us from our Savior and it can do so eternally. (II Peter 2: 4-10) So, yes, sex outside of marriage is still sin. Drunkenness is sin. Gluttony is sin. Gossip is sin. Stealing is still sin. Coveting what others possess is sin and profaning the name of the Lord is sin. Paul wrote to “flee” from sin because as believers our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit and we were bought with a price. (Romans 1: 18-23; I Cor. 5: 9-11; 6: 9-11; 6: 18-20)

If we’re not serious about this thing the scripture calls sin, then we’re not serious about truly following Jesus. Never do we desire to hear one day that Jesus did not know us, even if we claim to know Him. (Matthew 7: 21-23)

Here’s the good news, Jesus gave His life for our sin, not to keep on sinning, but to receive His redemption and His forgiveness. We need to receive His truth today and begin to deal with the sin in our life, allowing His love to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. (II Cor. 5: 21)





Chasing Leaders

10 04 2017

There are plenty of differences in relational styles. Some of us are more verbal and others more auditory and the like. Some are slow responders and others are really quick on their feet. Relational styles even differ on how they like to receive information or requests, e.g., phone calls, text messages, email, Facebook messaging, etc. But when we are leading a group of people and those persons cannot obtain a timely response from us through any of the various means of communication mentioned, then we are requiring those same persons to chase us.

Chasing leaders is not fun. In fact, sometimes it’s downright frustrating and futile. If you’re a leader who needs to be chased, then please, for the sake of the team and the sanity of others, listen up.

No one, I repeat, no one enjoys chasing their leader in order to get things done or make a decision. In fact, if you’re a leader that has to be continually chased, then you’re a leader who does not care as deeply as you should for those whom you lead. If your subordinate or even your supervisor has to call you, text you, email you or send smoke signals repeatedly for a response, then you are in effect dishonoring them by sending the message that your time is more valuable than their time. It conveys that you are too caught up in your world to respond in a timely fashion. Making it difficult to get a response from you slows down efficiency, inhibits order, frustrates relationships and spreads an, “I don’t care attitude” around the workplace.

If you’re this person, here are some suggested changes for you:

  • If providing an accurate response is going to take some extra time, then begin by sending a brief message in return like, “I’ve gotten your request and I will get back to you by the end of the week.” Then, follow through on your word.
  • If you have an administrator type person, ask them to get back to the request to discuss a time to connect.
  • If people are reminding you that they are calling once again, pick up on that, you might have already begun to frustrate them.
  • Maybe you’re the forgetful type. Write down or place a message on your phone to remind yourself to return the call within a certain time frame.
  • Apologize for responding too slowly and make a commitment to the person to respond in a more timely fashion in the future.

Finally, if this speaks to you, confess that you deal with this issue and be accountable to change for the better, because those whom you oversee and those who oversee you are counting on it and integrity in leadership requires it.








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