Seven Benefits of Praying Couples

8 04 2019

My wife and I have found a place of intimacy that far exceeds any level of intimacy within a marriage through our connecting in prayer.  We have made this a priority for many years and have grown our marriage in numerous ways through the vulnerability of prayer together.  Here are seven benefits that we have identified from praying together.

  1. When we pray, we find agreement with God and with one another. Agreement is far more powerful, life-giving and life changing than disagreement.
  2. Through prayer together we are not so self-focused, but rather, we are focused on God, one another and the needs of those we are praying for.
  3. We are recognizing our need to trust outside ourselves. We are realizing we cannot provide all the needs or answers.  We are humbling ourself to say, we need God.  Prayer reminds us and our family that God IS our source.
  4. Prayer helps us to grow in grace and patience. We learn to wait on God.  We also learn to confess our needs, brokenness and vulnerability. We, before God, recognize our need for forgiveness.
  5. We communicate our life issues when we pray and that helps us to hear out loud those needs. We pray what is on our heart and when we hear one another’s heart, we know what deeply touches us and concerns us.
  6. Prayer changes us as we learn to listen to God. It changes us financially, emotionally, mentally and sexually.  In all ways we are changed as we reach out to and then hear God’s still small voice.  Our hearts and our minds are transformed through prayer and we experience a greater level of oneness.
  7. Praying together increases our intimacy. As intimacy increases our trust levels increase and as our trust levels increase, our strength and bond together grows stronger.

Helping you to start your prayer trek

  • Purchase a devotional book, read and then pray.
  • Take turns praying/reading.
  • Start small or brief and grow your time.
  • Find a specific focus and pray.
  • Walk your neighborhood and pray.

  • Pray together with your children teaching them to pray.
  • Pray in the car when there is a lull in the conversation.
  • Pray when one of you or your children are not feeling well.
  • Pray with thanksgiving to God repeatedly.
  • Bless one another in prayer.  Bless one another’s day, workplace, etc.
  • Ask your spouse how you can pray for them.
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Crying, It Does a Marriage Good

11 03 2019

My wife cries.  My eyes sweat.  There is a difference!

 

A sad movie, a sad story, repeating a sad story or re-watching a sad movie – my wife cries.

 

My eyes sweat during those times.  I have no idea what comes over me…feelings, I’m guessing.

 

Did you know that God collects our tears? Psalm 56 reveals, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.”

 

Tears are actually a chemical wash to your eyes.  They are designed to help you feel better after a good cry because those chemicals cause a euphoria, so to speak, that helps to release emotion.  In that respect, it’s a healthy response or outlet. Tears have medicinal purpose because God made them that way.

 

So the next time your wife cries and/or your eyes sweat, let it happen; let it out and encourage your spouse to do the same.  Give one another permission to cry and do not attempt to rush in and fix the problem. Maybe all that is needed is a good cry or profuse sweating…whichever the case.





What a Group of Married Couples Recommend for Your Marriage

25 02 2019

Recently my wife and I had the privilege of spending a weekend with some young married couples on a retreat. Amidst our time together, we desired to ask them a question.  That question went something like this: If you were given the chance to share with a younger couple just entering into marriage, what advice would you pass on to them?  What follows is some of the excellent input we were given.

 

  • Pick your battles by asking yourself if it’s worth the possibility of an argument?
  • Pray about the area that is bothering you before jumping into it with your spouse.
  • Lay down your single routines in order to pick up your couple routines.
  • Communicate your expectations in multiple ways.
  • Give one another extra measures of grace, knowing you both need it.
  • Learn one another’s communication style by learning one another’s love languages.
  • Over communicate.
  • Engage in some form of mentorship.
  • Keep dealing with the areas of needed change in your life and take ownership for your issues.
  • Forgive quickly.
  • Get into the habit of praying together.
  • And always, each and every day, put God first.

 

Pretty sound advice from those with a few years of marriage under their belt.





We’re Better Together

18 02 2019

Marriage, being God’s design from the beginning, is an amazingly creative design.  Every time I am on an airplane sitting shoulder to shoulder with a stranger, I wish it were my wife.  It’s just so odd to be that physically close to someone you do not know and have never met.  Marriage is as close and intimate as an earthly relationship can become.  And the fact of the matter is, over time, it becomes even closer.

 

The primary ingredient to the beauty of our wives is a husband’s unconditional love, honor toward her, serving her and cherishing her.  The most beautiful women I know are those who are treated and cared for in this way. The security and significance of our husbands is directly related to a wife’s affirmation and praise of him as a man, a provider and a lover.  His wife, without critical judgment, loves him in this way and he is secure in that love.

 

We’re better together. The book of Ecclesiastes says it this way, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down his friend can help him up.”  How many times has your friend, your spouse, helped you up?  Thank you, Father, for Your amazing design!





Eight Huge Benefits of Becoming Debt Free

26 11 2018

My wife and I have been practicing debt-free living for years now.*  I say practicing because it takes discipline to reach and discipline to maintain.  So here are eight encouragements or benefits that we have discovered when it comes to debt-free living.

1. Freedom: My wife and I feel so free – free to give, free to purchase and free to save for the future.  We have more money to do these things rather than being enslaved to and feeling the pressure of our debt.

2. Ownership: Owning your car or your house is an amazing feeling that continues the feeling of freedom.  You will have less stress in your life.  Who doesn’t desire less stress?

3. Agreement: You will have and discover a greater sense of agreement in your marriage and your family.  If you’ve agreed to become debt free and you reach that goal, what else can you agree about and reach?

4. Children: Your children will see you more often. You will not feel required to sign up for all the overtime you possibly can.  And besides, you’ll be an amazing financial example to your kids, your family, your friends and your neighbors.  If you can do it, you’ll be helping them to believe they can too.

5. Opportunity: Becoming debt free automatically provides better opportunities to give more money away, to help someone in need.  Rather than feeling that feeling of tightness, you will be looking for and watching for investment opportunity to increase your finances and have the cash to do so.

6. Security: You will be and feel far more secure. Debt increases the feelings of insecurity and rightly so.  You may be one last paycheck from disaster with an ongoing debt load.  While being debt free there is far less fear of financial disaster and crisis.

7. Servant: The Scriptures tell us that the borrower is a servant to the lender. Whose servant are you?  To be debt free is to not be encumbered by enslavement to another. You are literally no longer enslaved to your job or the next unexpected car repair or house repair bill.

8. Savings: You will grow a savings account and an emergency fund faster.  Your retirement savings fund will grow faster.  Your college fund for your children can grow faster.  Every savings fund can realize increase when you are no longer borrowing and having to pay back another co-owner with interest.

And if all that’s not enough to convince you, how about this?  You will have less arguments over money in your life.  If married, you and your spouse will enjoy less financial disagreement and more financial agreement.  You’ll have more resources for eating out along with short and long-term vacations or mission trips. Living debt free loosens what has been wound tight for so long.  Purpose in your heart today and begin taking steps to become debt free.  You’ll never regret it.

*A point of clarity concerning living debt-free is investment for growth. Some consider investments that grow in value, like real estate, to not be debt.  I would consider it debt with the opportunity for growth/gain in value or perhaps “good debt.”





Dead Relationships Verses Living Relationships

12 11 2018

How much energy do you spend thinking about or trying to correct dead relationships?  Perhaps you have a failed relationship from the past, a really bad break-up or even a divorce.  In so many of these cases there is simply not a way to relieve the guilt or the false guilt one may feel.  We can find ourselves playing mental gymnastics in order to somehow convince ourselves it will possibly one day work out.

 

Perhaps the very thing we need to do is to stop misplacing time and thought into a former relationship that is not to be resurrected and place that energy appropriately into my present relationship.  To work toward building a stronger foundation and a deeper connection to my friend or my spouse rather than wasting time wishing that some past relationship would have worked out differently cannot only be productive, but rewarding as well.

 

Begin by praying about how you can better care for your friend.  Put energy and thought into how to better love the person you are married to. Try daydreaming and fantasizing about your wife or your husband.  To allow past, dead relationships your precious time just might be robbing, stealing in fact, from your present friendship or marriage relationship.  And that might be considered cheating.





A Life of Integrity or A Life of Regret?

24 09 2018

Life can be full of regrets, but integrity and high moral character will never leave one feeling remorseful.  This blog is not for those who walk in disappointment, but rather those who are doing their best to avoid moral failure and the loss of integrity.

 

Job’s wife once said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!”  But the Bible says that even after all of Job’s loss he did not sin or charge God with wrongdoing.  What amazing character this man walked in.  If you’re like me, you are tempted but if you long to be more like Jesus, you realize perfection will never be reached.  However, lifelong integrity can be your testimony and that testimony begins today.

 

If you walk in integrity and avoid moral failure you will be:

 

  • Maintaining a personal testimony and walk before God
  • Maintaining an uninhibited marriage of oneness (spiritually, sexually, emotionally)
  • Not having to work at winning a spouses trust back
  • Maintaining family by not embarrassing them and not losing their respect and trust
  • Not having to walk away from a job or ministry position
  • Not having to relocate
  • Not having to face newspaper articles, publicly printed communication and social media about personal failure
  • Not having to face rumors, gossip and lies
  • Not having to face untold and far-reaching negative consequences either based on truth and fact or hearsay and lies
  • Not having to face the law or possible law suits
  • Not losing or forfeiting many friendships and local church relationships
  • Living without wounds and scars
  • Not feeling as though everyone is watching
  • Not suffering from overwhelming thoughts of failure
  • Not continually reliving the past and coming up with regret and loss
  • Living without continual condemnation and guilt or false guilt
  • Able to sleep at night
  • Waking up in the morning and looking forward to a new day
  • Not having to be concerned about who one may face in the day
  • Not suffering the loss of vision
  • Not having to go through biblical discipline and a restoration process
  • Able to look at one’s family and all others in the eye
  • Able to look at oneself in the mirror without feeling like a failure
  • Having a clear conscience; walking through life without a cloud over oneself
  • Not losing one’s peace and joy
  • Not suffering the loss and grief of broken relationship with God

“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.”  (Proverbs 10:9)








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